pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
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