I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
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