he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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