Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
you would pick up someone in the library
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize