Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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