its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
He had one of those small greek statue penises
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
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