She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Randomize
