I cockslap morals
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Randomize
