just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Randomize
