I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
Randomize
