would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
