lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Randomize
