lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Randomize
