Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
