Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
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