Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
