I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Randomize
