Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
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