Kiss
Puke
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Randomize
