Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
