I am in a vortex of obligation.
There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
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