I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Randomize
