Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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