We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
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