: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
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