Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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