He kissed a someone with a penis
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
