We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
