My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
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