Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
You ruined the universe
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
