Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize
