Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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