ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Randomize
