The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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