you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
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