Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
