Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
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