bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
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