I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Randomize
