how can u be prego again
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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