I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Randomize
