How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
Randomize
