I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
Randomize
