Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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