All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
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