I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
The struggles of a small town man whore
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Randomize
