ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize
