the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Randomize
