Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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