Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize
