i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
Randomize
